I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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