Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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