PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
