Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
