note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
