thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
