She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
