something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize