You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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