3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
