Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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