We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
