Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.