I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..