I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
