I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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