Taylor Swift is so right about you.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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