SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize