dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
