I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
