Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
