Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
