Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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