We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just found a bag of teeth...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
