Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
