i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize