That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
