that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
