a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
