Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
