I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
