my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
