He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
