the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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