took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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