So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
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so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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