Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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