My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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