those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
