Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
