just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
