other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
