We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
