i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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