I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dick very happy bro
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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