carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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