i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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