Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
