problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
