The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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