VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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