The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
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So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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