Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
