Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
