i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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