Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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