Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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