"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
where are you?
Hypothermia
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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