Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
