Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
