Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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