I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
