There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
