I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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