Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
