I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
