Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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